superhell | INTRO WEEKEND

Well hey there! Have you been getting along with your fellow newly dead? Sure hope so! The jail cell's probably starting to feel a little cramped by now, huh? Without a way to tell the time or even guess what day it is, you might be feeling a little stir-crazy. The buffet is starting to run low, the soap is just about gone, and you're likely on the last square of toilet paper. Yikes.

You don't have time to worry about those things though before a faint sound breaks through the chatter of you and your cellmates. It's quiet at first, hard to pinpoint and very far away. It gradually begins to grow louder, and soon you may come to recognize them as church bells.

Without warning, all of the lights go out. Silk-like hands wind around your face, tying a thick piece of fabric over your eyes before you're forced to march forward. Try not to move too fast, lest you bump right into the person ahead of you. You can hear the cell door swinging open, and soon after there's the sound of something like water lapping against a shoreline. You take a few steps forward, but as you come to a stop you feel yourself sway in place briefly before promptly passing out.

Whoops.

When you come to, you're aware you're in another location. A tomato-y smell wafts through the air, and a slight draft blows through the room before a door slams shut behind you. Your blindfolds fall off with ease and you regain control of your limbs just in time to see the lights flickering on and off rather quickly.

"Welcome…to Hell…" a few voices say, tone low and dreary. The lights flicker faster and the voices chant the same mantra in rapid succession before there's suddenly a startled yell. With the rhythm lost, the lights flip back on and a dormitory common room comes into view.

The TV is playing some kind of gardening show with the volume low, and the remote is nowhere to be seen. There's plenty of seating for everyone whether you choose to sit on a couch, a beanbag, or the floor. Of course, if you sit on the floor you run the risk of sitting in a pile of confetti or on a used party popper. How messy. From here you can see the stairwells leading upward, but given the baby gates that have been set up it doesn't seem like you're going to leave anytime soon. Likewise, the front door to leave the dorm all together has been locked. What's your hurry? Stay awhile. Lunch has been provided in the form of lukewarm cafeteria-style pizza with cups of flat soda to wash it down. There's plenty of that for everyone, too. However, it seems like someone beat you to the welcome party; there's a sheet cake sitting on the other end of the table but it's already half-eaten. It doesn't even appear to have been cut into neat slices, so, uh, scoop some up if you want. There's also a life-size cut-out of this dapper gentleman for some reason.

You're probably distracted by what's at the front of the room, however. Standing below the hanging welcome sign are six figures. They might seem a little intimidating given their size in comparison to you, but don't be shy! Each one bears a name tag introducing themselves as your personal demons, eager to please and ready to help...probably.

Okay, fine, that's a stretch. But they do seem to be here to greet you and supply you with a few things. To the demons' left is a table with room keys and cell phones for each of you. Your keys are labeled with your names and room numbers, but you can always check the directories on the walls in case you get lost. Meanwhile, not only can your phones make calls, they already have a few apps on them including a radio, a camera app, and something called Bicker, a social media app where you can share your thoughts about Hell via text, photos or videos. Be sure to check out the profiles of your new mutuals! You won't be able to unfollow anybody for a while, but you can bug them to your heart's content.

Most importantly, to the demons' right is a whiteboard that looks as though it's seen better days given the sheer amount of marked-up scribbles on its surface. There may have been useful information on the board once, but now there's only two messages remaining.

SATAN'S HOUSE PARTY
SEVEN WEEKS AND SIX DAYS FROM TODAY

WELCOME TO HELL
Q&A IS NOW IN SESSION

Welcome to orientation. You're bound to have plenty of questions by now, right? Feel free to mingle and get to know your demons before exploring the dorm. Any attempt to jump the baby gates immediately will end in the gates rising up to block you, but we're sure you'll figure out how to get around those sooner or later.

Hello, happy Sunday! Thanks for playing with us so far. Here's some new notes!

-You are now able to explore the dormitories! Please check the dorm page for information about the building, what's available, and for your rooming assignments.

-You do not have to stay with your assigned dormmate for your whole stay, it's just for fun.

-You do not have to ICly stay for the whole Q&A! If your character would just disappear and try to jump the baby gates, they can do that. They will be stopped on their first attempt but they are free to go after that.

-For anyone talking to the NPCs, please stick with one for now just for mod loads! We will let you know when we are open to you guys tagging more than one.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ yaaaaaay. they are very much like "yaaaaay" about it before snatching the piece to happily chew on. ]

It's good, right? [ is. is it? ]

Well...

[ WELLLLLLLLLL.............. ]

It's different and I can't say I've had anything like it before. It does fit the overall aesthetic of this place, if you ask me. Fitting.

[ this is the most polite way of saying the food is shitty, thank you zag. cosmopolitan doesn't seem to think anything of it though, nodding in agreement. ]

At least it's not what you guys got stuck with earlier. [ but wait. ] You've never had it?

I quite liked the sponge cakes with the cream filling and the loaf of savory meat in the can, though there was something... Odd about the taste on both accounts. I don't know how to describe it. This rendition of a pita is overall better though, yes.

[ he doesn't know what mass production tastes like ]

Nothing like this, no.

[ they debate asking about the pita, and then decide not to. ]

There's a lot of different tasty treats out there. Maybe you'll get to try some others. But leftovers aren't a bad taste either.

[ you guys should finish what's been provided first. ]

You want the whole stack?

[ Pointing at all the pizza. ]

Oh, man...I shouldn't. [ they press their fingers together like they're really concerned about stealing all of this food. ] It was meant for you guys.

[ yet they continue to take so much. ]

There seems to be enough for you to take more, I think.

[ seeing that so many people are offering purple clown demon their pizza. ]

Can we not make more?

[ wow don't just assign them clown demon. ]

Well, there are the kitchens upstairs. I guess if you got the right ingredients you could make more later.

[ does zagreus know how to cook? ]

[ purple is clown color, or stinky. one or the other. ]

Then that sounds like a plan! If there's a place to gather, then maybe we can have more of this "pizza." We wouldn't want our chef to grow bored.

[ no he doesn't i think it is obvious enough from him assuming there's a chef ]

If there are places to fish, that would be even better. You can say fish should fear me.

[ they tilt their head because, like, what chef? ]

I guess this is a gathering place. And your dormrooms. There's probably a chef among you? I haven't checked.

[ but they seem interested in that last bit. ]

What did you do to the fish? Are they under your command now?

Oh, I meant a gathering place for grains and the like? I see... No chef. Well, I'm sure we can make do.

[ He has accepted life is like this. No problem. ]

See, Lord Purple Monster, I acquired the Rod of Fishing from the contractor in the House of Hades, using the precious diamonds I gathered slaying the wretched Hydra in the lava trenched fields of Asphodel! Not once, but multiple times, all their heads were felled by my infernal arms. Poseidon, my uncle, god of the sea, sensed its presence in the Underworld when I looked to climb my father's realms once more and offered me a legendary boon... Fish would flock to me despite knowing it would spell their end.

... Then I just fish them out and give my catch to our chef. He makes some mean sashimi. Decadent.

Like...a farm? We don't have anything like that! I don't think? [ they are actually not sure, apparently.

anyway, it's hard to tell maybe but they are absolutely enthralled by this story. ]

Whoaaa...so you're really powerful! How many times did the hydra heads grow back? Did you have to keep fighting it? What kind of fish are even there? [ !!! ]

Do you know how to make sashimi? Whatever that is.

A farm... Like a garden. It is a pity there isn't one that you know of.

[ garden. NOT THEM LIKE HYDRA?? ]

Normally, six which is less than the nine that Heracles conquered during his trials. Still, I think it's a feat! Heracles only needed to slay the hydra once, but I have to face it every time I climb the Underworld. Not that I'm saying I could ever compare to a hero valiant, of course.

All sorts of fish. Sometimes crustaceans. Did you know some fish can live in lava? Fish in the afterlife are resilient. [ .... ] I... Think you just cut the fish?

[ he doesn't know ]

A garden? You could ask Rosé, they might know.

[ they can be helpful and also invested in hydra, wow. ]

Never heard of the guy, but that's a lot of heads! And also sounds like a pain. Can't it just stay dead? Maybe if you poured salt on it it'd stop growing.

I've never gone fishing in lava. If you find some fish here, you can try to cut it? It's...probably okay.

I'll keep that in mind, Lord Purple Monster.

[ He rubs his neck. ]

Unfortunately, no. Much like most of those in the Underworld, you don't quite stay dead—which also includes the Hydra. I wonder if salt would make my battles with it shorter, however. I'll keep it in my thoughts.

Would that I give it a go if I had a rod.

You'd probably need a lot. But I bet it'd work like it does on slugs. [ thanks cosmopolitan. ]

You could probably make a rod, can't you? It's just a stick.

I could, but... Normal sticks catch fire, don't they?

[ they consider this... ]

A metal rod?

[ where in the hell is zagreus going to get metal, cosmopolitan. ]

[ WHERE WOULD THEY GET A METAL ROD ]

I'm assuming it's overmuch to ask if it's something you all can provide, even with payment...

What would you even pay us with?

I make a good errand boy?

...soooo you'd do anything we asked for a fishing rod?

As long as it's reasonable and within my power, yes?

[ ... ]

Okay! Maybe later then. [ they are going to give this thought apparently. ]

INTRO WEEKEND - SUNDAY

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