They're one and the same. What cannot change must be broken. I sought change, and to do so, I figured I'd smash it up a bit -- because it wasn't willing to do so otherwise.

And in that new world, there isn't a place for me. Yes, I want the change, but I am a product of old cruelty, and that won't change. I was raised by and live by bloodshed and harm. I let myself become the pinnacle of torment and violence because someone had to be the nail driven into the glass, but such tactics would be obsolete in the new world I imagine.

[ In some ways, maybe she's more alike her father than she wants to admit -- if you love a thing, let it go. ]